At the beginning of Race to Witch Mountain, a UFO crashes somewhere in the desert surrounding Las Vegas. Some evil government agents, Henry Burke (Ciaran Hinds) and Matheson (Tom Everett Scott) among them, immediately jump into turbo gear and spend the film attempting to capture the UFO’s occupants for research purposes. Meanwhile, The Rock, as cab driver Jack Bruno, is only trying to keep his impeccably well-shaped nose clean and mind his own business, that is, by shuttling conspiracy theorists, fanboy Stormtroopers, and other such weirdos to and from a Las Vegas sci-fi convention. Bruno, who could probably do better than Vegas, is an ex-con who served time for running errands for the mob, but, as he insists more than once, all that is in the past. Well, Bruno only thinks he’s out, but, naturally, they’re trying to pull him back in.
Seriously? You’d better believe it.
So, after a heated argument with two such mob thugs, Bruno returns to his cab to find that two eerily well-mannered teenagers, Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig), have somehow materialized in the back seat. These teens—who look like Dresden Dolls (in the sense of V.C. Andrews’ Flowers In The Attic series, not the “Brechtian punk cabaret” musical act) and talk like Vicki the robot of “Small Wonder” fame—are in a hurry. They flash some cash, and Bruno’s lead foot hits the pedal. Oddly, Bruno doesn’t seem to mind risking his immanent return to prison even though these kids are carrying a shitload of money and are being pursued by all manner of law enforcement. Such pesky plot inconsistencies are no big deal, for, without such logical gaps, The Rock wouldn’t be in this film. Besides, these kids, who are shape-shifting, mind-reading, telekinetic aliens, don’t really even need Bruno’s help to get to their titular destination. You see, Sara and Seth have travelled to Earth to find something necessary for their planet’s survival. If their mission fails, Earth will be destroyed, and, to further complicate matters, the bounty-hunting Siphon, a pathetic attempt at a Terminator-styled robot, has followed the alien teens to our lovely planet. So, it’s basically up to skeptical Bruno The Rock to save the world from what would otherwise be certain obliteration. This is, arguably, a much more ambitious project than The Game Plan, but Race to Witch Mountain carries far less charm than its predecessor. Instead, this sci-fi action flick is barely passable for killing some popcorn but panders mostly towards the no-attention span generation.
Im giving Race to Witch Mountain a 8.5/10
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